Tag Archive: freelancing

On Motherhood and Callings and Turning 50

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Photo credit: Vitalik-sv

I turn 50 next month.

I’ve mentioned this before. I actually think I’m okay with the number. I’m not sure I’m okay with all the myriad aches and pains that are suddenly showing up.

Milestone birthdays, though, tend to put one in a contemplative frame of mind. Couple the approaching milestone with my two oldest children moving away, and my head is bound to start down some paths that I’m going to need to process and share.

And so it is that I come to this blog–a topic that I’ve been noodling over for… maybe a couple of years, to be candid. I’ve been afraid to post about this–afraid of judgment and questions and disagreement.

I think I’m not going to fear that.

So if you’ll all forgive me, I’m just going to get kind of real and very open and maybe a little Jesus-y… And it’s quite likely that I will mightily offend some people. And I think I’m okay with that.

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Spun Like a Possum

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Well. That month went by fast.

Or not too fast. I guess it depends on one’s perspective.

A few weeks ago, I was coming home from the grocery store after dark. I was waiting at a busy intersection and saw something kind of fall out from under a car crossing the intersection in front of me. The thing tumbled around, righted itself, shook its head, and got hit from another direction. Amazingly, it only got dragged a bit, tumbled from under the second car, and ran into the bushes. When I saw its long hairless tail, I realized it was a possum. Somehow that dang thing survived a crazy busy intersection and two cars driving over it–at least long enough to dash into the bushes.

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Community

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My besties. We’re all sporting the very cool bracelets one of our number made. She personalized each one to suit its owner.

First, the updates:

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Mountains and Buckets

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Hey there, threes of fans.

It seems like I start out a lot of these posts after a hiatus with something akin to “I didn’t realize how much time went by” or “I’ve been super busy with no time to blog.” This time… No such excuses.

I just didn’t want to blog.

It’s been a rough few weeks for me. Not for the family–everyone around here seems to be doing pretty well. Just for me. I think I’ve been a little stuck inside my own head, and it’s taking a Herculean effort to pull myself out of it this time.

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The Business Side of Things

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And now, I’m finally getting to sharing with you all the business side of things…

I find myself with some time to breathe right now. Last year, I had one large project that kept me busy most of the year, one client with a variety of small-to-medium-sized projects, and several small, “one off” kinds of things that came up along the way. It was a good amount of work–just about right for the amount of time I had last year.

But this year…

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Missing Out

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I came across this image this morning on LinkedIn:

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Catching Up

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Oh hey there, friends.

I have no idea how I managed to let three months go by without so much as an “I’m still alive” post. It feels like I JUST posted something. I don’t know where the three months went. Suffice to say… I’m still alive.

This spring has been reasonably uneventful. In the general news category….

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Integration

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I bought a new planner.

You guys. It’s so pretty.

I texted my sister last night to make sure I remembered her kids’ birthdays right (yeah, I’m that kind of aunt), and she shared my joy over new planners. I live in a family of office supply addicts. My oldest daughter will work for sticky notes.

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Milestone

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One year ago today, I decided to make some big changes.

On January 22, 2017, I weighed 206 pounds. I’m embarrassed to admit that. I have never had an easy time maintaining a healthy weight, but 206 was the highest I’d ever been when I wasn’t pregnant.

I was miserable in January last year. I was coming off the worst year of my life. A brutally hard winter was keeping me largely housebound with three kids at home. I was trying to shepherd my oldest kid through his own major life changes (and not doing a terrific job, I have to admit). I was a size-16-pushing-size-18, and I knew I had a lot of outdoor events coming up during the year that would be very difficult for an out-of-shape 47-year-old if I didn’t make some changes. To top it all off, I was dealing constantly with pretty serious negative thinking–some hideous mental spirals, major parental guilt, self-talk that I would never say to my worst enemy, that sort of thing.

One year ago today, I was a terrible person to be around.

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On Confidence and Age

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How did I manage to completely miss posting even one time in December??

You all should know that I thought of you at Christmas. I did. Promise. But between my ghostwriting gig, the holidays, and getting knocked down HARD with the flu, I guess I just sort of skipped December. (I’m well now–thanks for asking.)

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