Tag Archive: faith

Milestone

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One year ago today, I decided to make some big changes.

On January 22, 2017, I weighed 206 pounds. I’m embarrassed to admit that. I have never had an easy time maintaining a healthy weight, but 206 was the highest I’d ever been when I wasn’t pregnant.

I was miserable in January last year. I was coming off the worst year of my life. A brutally hard winter was keeping me largely housebound with three kids at home. I was trying to shepherd my oldest kid through his own major life changes (and not doing a terrific job, I have to admit). I was a size-16-pushing-size-18, and I knew I had a lot of outdoor events coming up during the year that would be very difficult for an out-of-shape 47-year-old if I didn’t make some changes. To top it all off, I was dealing constantly with pretty serious negative thinking–some hideous mental spirals, major parental guilt, self-talk that I would never say to my worst enemy, that sort of thing.

One year ago today, I was a terrible person to be around.

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Loading Software

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Spring is here, kind of. I say kind of because it’s still not even a little bit warm in Oregon. Honestly, I’m usually the one telling people to buck up and enjoy the rain, but even I’m tired of it. We finally hit our first 65 degree day last Friday, and it was about three weeks later than usual. C’mon, sun–give us a little break!

But despite the cold and rain (or because of it–not sure), I’ve had a few successes that I thought I’d share:
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Reboot

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Good afternoon, internet.

I’ve started and stopped this blog post about a dozen times since the beginning of the year. I feel like I should let you all know that I’m still alive, but I’m struggling with what to say, exactly. I guess the best thing to do is my usual approach–stumble into it and see if I can rediscover my voice along the way.

I’ve already shared that 2016 was the hardest year of my life. (more…)

There’s Still a Baby

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Hello, friends.

Things are mostly unchanged around here. We’re still in a pretty thick patch of brambles. My family is fractured and broken, and my writing is still at a standstill with no hope of return.

And it’s to this season of joy that I bring grief, pain, anguish unresolved.

This has been the hardest year of my life. (more…)

I’m Fine. FINE.

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I don’t know where to begin.

It’s been a busy month. Let’s start with that. I logged in here to clean up spam and realized it’s been over a month since I posted anything. What have I done with myself in that time? Well, I have not been writing, that’s clear. I’m no further on my edits for Bloodbonded than I was on January 19. I have, however, been very busy with my American Heritage Girls troop–planning, coordinating, meeting, and dealing with all the minutiae. And I’ve been busy with kids. There’s always that.

But not writing.
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Six Years

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Facebook continues to vex me.

I still hate it, but for whatever reason, I keep going to it like an addict who needs a fix. I sometimes back off of posting on my personal page for a while, but then I peek out like a little groundhog, test the waters, and immediately regret it. With all the stuff going on in the world and a whole lot of crappy personal stuff going on the last couple of weeks, I should have just stayed away from Facebook and picked up my knitting. But I didn’t, and yesterday, I ventured onto Facebook and confronted one of those memory posts.

The thing about November is that a lot of my memories involve NaNoWriMo. I already shared one of the NaNoWriMo posts from last year, so I kind of poked through the other memories and realized…

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Fear

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This one is mostly for my sisters in Christ. If you aren’t a sister in Christ, you can look away, and I promise you won’t miss anything. But you can read, too, if you want. I’m okay either way.

Here’s the thing on fear: Y’all gotta stop it.

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Purpose, Calling, and Obedience

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Warning: This is long, rambly, and very Jesus-y. #sorrynotsorry You can’t say you haven’t been warned.

A friend sent me this article the other day. Go ahead and read it. I’ll wait.

*insert Musak here*

Okay, you’re back.

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Encouraged

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The last couple of weeks have been odd.

On the one hand, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been this frustrated, discouraged, and exhausted with my volunteer job. I was overwhelmed and frustrated in summer 2013 when I first took the job, but I expected it then. I mean, I was still in the midst of my long, dark tea-time of the soul (thanks, Douglas Adams, for that phrase; I use it often), and so pretty much everything was frustrating, overwhelming, discouraging, etc. But I got over that and had a pretty good couple of years… until recently. Let’s just say that it’s become crystal clear that it is time for me to step down as a leader. Either I am really not a good fit for this job, or else I’m just really, really tired. It’s probably a bit of both.

But on the other hand… I have experienced a new surge of encouragement from the world of Christian artists. (more…)

School, Yarn, and Books

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The last two weeks have just about killed me.

School is officially in session for all four kids. The youngest started on September 1, the freshman started on the 8th, and the junior and the 7th grader started on the 9th. And it’s been quite a ride so far. The oldest three went from a small private school to a large public high school and medium-sized public middle school. All the kid activities are in full swing, too. Lots of changes–lots of stress. We’re still working on settling everything down.

On top of those things, our freezer is dying, and the kids’ bathroom has a leak somewhere around the bathtub. We haven’t found it yet. I’d move, but the quality of the neighborhood has taken a nose dive, and I don’t see it improving any time soon. Plus, moving with four kids just really isn’t appealing at all.

But the biggest thing is that I seem to keep bumping up against conflict every time I turn around right now. (more…)