Changes… Again…

I hope this is the last time I have to tell you guys there are changes. But to be candid, I doubt it. Life is, after all, an exercise in change and adaptation.

This time, the changes are good… I hope.

To backtrack a bit…

I had to do a bit of soul-searching again this summer. I went to an American Heritage Girls convention, and it was fantastic. But I came away challenged to evaluate the position of AHG in my life, and it didn’t fare well in the long run.

Don’t get me wrong. I love AHG. I love having my girls in the program. They like the program. We’ve made a lot of friends there. I’ve seen changes and growth in both of my daughters–especially my oldest one–that are a direct result of AHG. For a while, I’ve been thinking that when my tenure is over as a Troop Coordinator, I would like to be what AHG calls a Ministry Expansion Lead (MEL)–someone who helps develop and grow the program in a geographic area.

But I had an epiphany about a week ago, and a significant piece of it was the realization that a lot of people can do AHG stuff, but only one person can write my stories.

(That person is me, by the way.)

So…

Things will change this year. I am working very hard to set my life up so that I can go back to writing fiction. I’m still a Troop Coordinator, but the troop has grown and changed enough that I can pull back DRASTICALLY without causing any harm. A lot of what I was doing was my own choice, anyway. I can delegate it or just let it go. I have a strong, talented leadership team around me. There’s no reason that my part-time volunteer job should take 20 hours a week anymore. It’s time for me to step back and let other talented people shine.

It’ll take a few more weeks. We’re still working on getting the new program year off to a good start, and I’m away at camp for the next several days and then have family commitments for a week or so. And then my kids all start school–two of them at a new high school, which might require a bit more “momming” than usual at the beginning of a school year.

But it is my goal and my fervent hope that by mid-September or early October, I will be back in the swing of writing and publishing on a regular basis. I don’t think I can devote the amount of time to it that I used to do–no more six- to eight-hour days! But maybe three or four hours a day… That seems doable.

And writing will come before AHG. This I promise you all. Writing will be a higher priority than my volunteer job.

I still have the same old fears, some of the same old anxiety, and a good dollop of the ambivalence toward publishing that I’ve always had.

But I’ve also changed a lot since going dark, and I no longer care about some of things I used to care about. Like income–I just don’t give a poop whether I make money at this. I don’t even give two poops. This is a hobby mentality with career-focused goals.

Bottom line: I write and publish because I am the only one who can tell Connor’s story. And Mairead’s. And Braedan’s, Igraine’s, Logan’s, Minerva’s, Toby’s, Lily’s, Ivy’s, Vic’s, Mabel’s, and all the other thus-far-unintroduced characters that live in my head.

So I will write them. And I will shepherd my girls (and probably a few other girls) through AHG. And I will be wife to my hubby and mother to my kids, and I will knit, and I will be part of my church, and I will do the things I need to do and be obedient with the things I have been given.

And as an act of obedience, I will write.

I suppose you all knew I couldn’t keep this all stuffed down forever, right?

Thanks for hanging with me, y’all.

(p.s. If you comment on this post, it may be a while before it’s approved as I’ll be away from the computer for a good week. And if you’re curious, I monitor comments because of massive spam, not because I’m deleting things. If you’re polite and not a spammer, I’ll approve your comment. :))

Comments (4)

  1. tony

    Glad to hear (read) this, Amy. Looking forward to whatever you produce.

    If you need anything I can help with, please don’t hesitate to say so. After all, you allowed me to use your name, so I’m pretty indebted, but that’s not all.
    Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
    1. Amy Rose Davis (Post author)

      Thank you, Tony. Kind of you to offer. I will certainly remember that. But even if all you do is continue to read and encourage, that is a significant balm to my spirit! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Cassie

    I am SO pleased to hear you are going to be back at the writing. I can’t wait to read more of your stories.

    Reply
    1. Amy Rose Davis (Post author)

      Thank you, Cassie. I appreciate the encouragement!

      Reply

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